|
Still
nursing the scratches and abrasions from the epic victory against
Windsor the previous week, Maidenhead’s U16 parents and supporters
dragged themselves and their well-bitten fingernails to Weedon Lane
in search of one more dose of glory. And second helpings of empanadas.
Tired
at the end of a long season, they set up camp and stoically waited
for something to happen, wryly reflecting on the easier times when
a mini rugby tournament would be over by lunchtime, rather than starting
just when the roast potatoes would be coming out of the oven.
Maidenhead
U16s 22pts vs. Ruislip U16s 19pts
The first game started 40 minutes late. Opponents Ruislip scored first
and converted but Maids responded with tries by Dominik Bart and Mike
Trevena and ended the first half with a 10-7 lead. Ruislip scored
again before Leo Smith restored the lead and Bart extended it. With
a minute to go, Ruislip got outside the cover and the conversion made
it 19-17. Was that it? Would the tournament, and the whole afternoon,
be an empty, echoing pointlessness? Would the empanadas run out? A
long delay for precautionary ambulance evacuation of a Ruislip player
ended with a last play scrum for Maids 10m out. Louis Basson took
on the blindside defence and scored the winning points. Game two,
against Bletchley, was delayed by another ambulance visit and the
camp began to speculate that players would be U17s before the event
was complete. Earlier makeshift shelters were being reinforced with
salvaged timber and sheet iron and basic water and electricity services
were being gradually installed. Only about 1,500 empanadas were left.
Maidenhead
U16s 24pts vs. Bletchley U16s 0pts
Bletchley were overwhelmed by a Smith hat-trick and a try by Basson,
along with two conversions by Bart. There was now a 90 minute wait
for Game 3. Players ate burgers and hot dogs, supporters debated setting
up a city council and the need for a fire service and court system.
Maidenhead
U16s 0pts vs. Amersham & Chiltern U16s 14pts
Maids rested some players and found themselves cold-cocked by
the host team, Amersham & Chiltern. In no time at all, Chilts went
two goals ahead, playing smart 10s rugby. They committed no more than
three to the breakdown, maintained a four or five man backline at
all times, and moved any ball quickly to the wings, who made ground
and then looked for support inside. They had clearly been practising
the format (imagine!) and looked very useful. Maids shook off the
post-burger lethargy in the second half and began to come back but
it was too little and too late. The next game followed on almost without
pause, forcing the suspension of slum clearance and the construction
of the airport.
Maidenhead
U16s 25pts vs. High Wycombe 5pts
High Wycombe managed one try against the five scored by a rejuvenated
Maids. Smith blasted his way through for the first and Basson wriggled
and raced for two more. Mike Trevena got his second of the day and
Tom Eckles touched down the best of the tournament, gassing past the
cover after Smith had run 80 metres from behind his own line. Although
he did not score, Ed Kaye was everywhere, an elemental force who created
much for Maids and terrorised High Wycombe’s restart receivers. Another
long wait ensued, with interest provided by a town twinning exploratory
visit from Villa 31.
Maidenhead
U16s 0pts vs. Harrow U16s 0pts
A
match with Harrow followed. Interesting only because nothing of interest
happened. The city council rejected UN demands for inspection of nuclear
facilities, insisting that all research was “purely for domestic energy
purposes”. The tournament rules commanded a final playoff between
the top two teams in the competition. Amersham & Chiltern had a perfect
12 points from their six games and Maidenhead qualified second with
9, after Bucks champions Chinnor failed to show for their game with
Berkshire’s best. So the scene was set for a showdown.
Maidenhead
U16s 36pts vs. Amersham & Chiltern U16s 0pts
Chiltern had beaten Maids in the earlier league game by being
smarter with the format, well organised and well drilled. Now, however,
they were simply blown away by a side who were bigger, stronger, fitter,
faster and more determined, whatever the format. Maids gave them no
ball, no space and no chance. Smith claimed another hat trick, Alex
Avery two including an outrageous interception, and Daniel Andrews-Jones
capped a day of heroic defence with a well deserved foot race. Conversions
by Bart and two by Smith made it a crushing 36-0.
Reluctantly
ceding the territory to the new European Union anti-volcano rapid
reaction bureaucracy, the Maids' parents and supporters set off on
the long journey home with the players, now in their mid-thirties,
helping some of the more frail elderly who had given the best years
of their lives to the cause. Just one empanada was left for the circling
crows.
Squad:
Alex Avery, Mark Hine, Callum Hull, Nic Jones, Mike Trevena, Kaya
Baxter, Iain Whiteford, Ed Kaye, Dom Bart, Calum O’Flaherty, Mike
Winter, LD Basson, Luke Thomas, Leo Smith, Daniel AJ, Michael Anderson,
Tom Eckles.
|
