U17s overhaul Oxford to top OBB group

Maidenhead U17s 19 v Oxford U17s 0
Sunday 31st October 2004

Report by Tom "Ginge" Lewis

Maids versus Oxford Ocelots (it’s a sort of South African wild-cat thing)

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, here it is. The 3rd in a truly legendary trilogy. A possibly controversial come-back. “Should he have just left if there?” I hear you ask, “…after all the good he did in numbers one and two…” In the deciding game of the BBBO Pool stages however, it was just too juicy a tale for this spamtastic reporter to pass up. Without further ado, the rugby:

Oxford were to kick off this pivotal match, and there were deemed to be our most difficult opposition yet. As one sat in the stands, Maids were to play right to left, from the WAMSAD end. From the kick off Maids were gifted with clean ball and kick-started this epic battle in the form of Tom Plumer. Offloading to Mitch, then Dayno, then, it was clear that Maids were switched on from the go.

From the 22 drop out Oxford applied pressure on Maids’ ball carriers, including the effervescent Macca, and were awarded a penalty. “So much for the Badger’s’ ‘No penalties in the first 10 minutes’ thing,” muttered Styles. Joycee in our powerful lineout managed to steal Oxford ball and Maids were back on the offensive.

Later on in the game, after Oxford had been applying pressure for some time, it was up to Chris Richardson to clear from a Maids scrum on our 22. He did just that, but in Wimbledon style, the Oxford 10 returned the punt, allowing Dayno to mark the kick and show intelligence. After spanking it to the half way line, Dayno looked mighty pleased with himself, and Maids could breath easy.

From the lineout, the Oxford backs were given poor ball to deal with. Dayno, like some sort of South African game-beast, pounced on the ball and hacked it deep into the Oxford 22. It was covered however by their right winger, who was then covered by Hodgson and Plume. A penalty was then awarded for going in at the side of the ruck. Unfortunately Dayno pushed it too far and the ball was kicked into the touch-in-goal area.

From the 22 Oxford applied the pressure again, and on 11 minutes 18 seconds they were awarded their 3rd penalty. From the lineout however, Ashley “Smashers” Hanks was on the warpath and hunted down the Oxford number 10, hauling him to the ground. Clean ruck ball, however, allowed 9 to get the pass away, only for it to be shot down in the air by eagle-like Paz. Sadly, it was deemed to be a deliberate knock on and another penalty was awarded.

After a few minutes of applied pressure, and the odd winding tackle on the skipper from the Oxford number 8, Maids were awarded a penalty in a similar position. Outside the 22, in front of the posts, unfortunately this time Hodgson over compensated and the ball drifted agonisingly left.

The Oxford number ten kicked the ball into our 22, but once again, without fail, there was Dayno to clean up. He marked the kick and kicked deep. Mitch chased and when the fullback attempted a chip a trailing arm struck him in the face. After some light discipline, toys were back in the pram and rugby was resumed.

Another unsuccessful penalty attempt, some ping-pong-like kicking, and a frog-like leap from Mitch to steal Pat’s moment of mark-ing glory, lead to halftime.

I caught up with Sam Stefan: “We’re winning. Get out my face” The only halftime substitution was a replacement of scrum halves. Olly Styles on for Chris Adam who was nursing a boo-boo on his wrist. Cadz’s contribution: “It wasn’t a very good game, bit scrappy really.”

Deep in the Oxford 22, various phases landed the ball with the big and toned Tom Plume who was sadly held up. Much to the dismay of his extensive fan base. Single minded back play then saw Maids leave the Oxford 22 empty handed to the sounds of Steve Jones: “Oh, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit.”

Six and a half minutes into the second half, Ben Tucker replaced Smashers, and I was unwillingly gifted with Hodgson’s kicking tee… More confident back play and “…One of the best switches I [Cadz] have ever seen!” had us back in the Oxford 22. But some slightly greedy forward play, and an attempt from Batten to break 3 laws in one (handling on the ground, squeeze ball, crawling with the ball when held) lost us possession of the egg.

Oxford then stole the ball and strung together their first offensive move of the half. From a scrum, their number 8 beat Ryan in the centre, but was then grabbed by the ankles by Dayno. A loose ball was then hacked into touch, but not before Plume decided he’d munch number 15, much to the disagreement of pretty much everyone in green.

Winning their own lineout Oxford strung several moves together and we’re down in the far corner of our half. A blindside move and a grubber from number 10 saw Alex Cannon on the ball. Playing it cool as usual, he handed to Chris Richardson who slipped, and it was deduced that now was not the time to be playing dangerous rugby.

This heroic effort led to a penalty that was taken by Hodgson. He missed touch however, and Cadz declared this was due to his effort to “Grab too much pitch.” From their own scrum, Oxford attempted a dummy switch, but Dayno saw it coming a mile off a smote his opponent to the ground. Quickly back on his feet Dayno forced a penalty, and an extra ten was awarded for back chat.

20 minutes in, Tom Morgan came on to replace Jacko, and Stefan replaced Razza. Jacks thoughts: “We’re playing really…bad, we’re lucky to be winning.”

From a ruck 5m out, Styles floated yet another speedy and clean pass to Dayno who wafted an instinctive miss pass out to Cannon who cruised over to make it 19 – 0. “Game, set, match.” Declared Cadz.

25 minutes gone, Plume came off with a lumbar ache, and was replaced by Adam Dauncey. The restart was caught by a fresh Ben Tucker, who gave to Dayno. His kick was charged down however, and we lost a substantial amount of land. A second attempt from Dayno this time made some distance, but we were pulled back after the referee deemed Hodgson and Alexander were offside.

Several fruitless attempts at scoring from Oxford convinced me that since the Christian try decision Oxford’s heads hadn’t quite been in the game. A penalty was given away for unnecessary aggression and Hodgson cleared. From the lineout we executed a Harlequin ball and were back on the offensive.

It remained that way until full time, and the final score was 19 – 0. Seconds later I spoke to Chris Parrot: “Immediate reaction here, it was a tough match and I thought we all pulled together, we showed some good phases at times, especially the try from Alex, but by far the move of the match was Ryan’s try, with a little a inside flick to me, charge, bosh. Pop to Ryan, great finishing on the touch, under the posts. It was awesome…forwards and backs interlinking beautifully.”

Then came the de-brief. Steve, amongst other things, said: “A good game to watch…by far the best team we’ve had…we put them away…heading in the right direction…good squad.”

Dayno: “Boysch, I just gotta tell ya, my goodnessch boys, I couldn’t get that thing to go ten metres! And ol’ Dave-o, brought out the 5 wood, shanked it to the bunker.” Later on in the changing room, after viewing Pat’s superman Y-fronts, Dayno added: “South Africa are gonna bum England, 20th November at Twickenham, I’m there boysch.”

“Today, we climbed a rung on the ladder to success, and the BOB league can be ours.” Hodgson, October 31st, 2004.

“The beans are rough” Joyce.

Whilst soaking in the post match atmosphere, I spoke to legendary prop, Pat McSweeney: “Urm, my opposite prop was nothing. I was the superior player.” Was and is Patrick, was and is.