U17s tame the Welsh Dragon

Maidenhead U17s 49 v London Welsh U17s 0
Sunday 24th October 2004

Report by Tom "Ginge" Lewis

Here we go then, with the much-awaited sequel to the greatest report in the world. A hard act to follow, but none the less, it will be attempted.

A game, late in organisation, saw Maids with a home fixture, something appreciated by many a fellow who really could not be arsed with a trek to Old Albanians…

Overhearing a conversation between the Badger and others it seem that: "The boys are up for it." KO was at 12.20, taken by Dayno with the wind on Maids’ backs. Immediately the Badger’s promise was fulfilled as Maids applied the pressure and forced a miss kick. A lineout, won by a salmon-like Paz gave Maids some early possession but two penalties in two minutes returned the ball to Welsh.

Some light whispering around the crowd suggested that maybe the boys had learned nothing from last week’s post match bollocking about the discipline, but it was later revealed that these two penalties were an anomaly in a game where Maids clearly took control.

A missed touch from the Welsh number 10 gifted Maids with their first chance on the offensive. A confident pick up from Hodge lead to one of many Tim Johnson runs with Pat and Joyce in support. An unfortunate knock on 5m out gave Welsh a scrum and a chance to relieve pressure. Number 10, however, could not complete the phase and Maids were given a lineout 10m out. A confident take from a prominent Paz gave Maids the chance to test their Catch and Drive skills. Forced over the line, sadly Paz couldn’t quite ground the ball, but Maids were awarded a scrum 5, five and a half minutes in.

A confident hook from Ratboy gave Styles good clean ball to whip out to Dayno who dummy scissored with Hodge and popped to Chris "the runaway train" Adam who could not quite hold it. Maids however stole the scrum, gave the ball blind to Hodgson, then Cadz and then to Paz who was in support to crash over the line for the first of two.

After an unsuccessful con from Dave "The ball was too hard L " Hodgson, I caught up with Steve Jones to get his opinion on the opening 7 minutes:

"Tom’s just asked me to quote, err, I’m the sports journalist of the year… bollocks"

8 minutes gone; Maids 5, Welsh Warriors 0

A post restart scrum saw the Maids backs applying pressure and forcing a turnover in possession. Cadz kicked deep and chased, but was powerless to their wench right winger, who stepped two then shipped the ball to a line of backs. The move was halted when, after stepping Hodgson and Chaytor, the left winger was demolished by an on-the-warpath Pat.

At this point Welsh were losing more and more ground and had to relieve some pressure. The clearance kick went only as far as Razza who had a dominating game at fullback. The ball was kicked back into the Welsh 22 and was chased by all. Joyce and Chaytes were there first to haul down the full back but not before he could get the ball away to a teammate who hacked up field. Hodgson was covering and kicked deep to the Welsh corner. When all thought the ball was in touch, an omnipresent Dayne Ferrar fly-hacked the ball in-field only for it to be touched down in the in goal area.

Caught from the drop out 22 the ball was set up providing clean ball for the backs. A wide pass from Hodgson to Dayno, then a pass to Razza lead to a 2 on 1 situation which ended with Chaytes being bundled into touch.

From the lineout Welsh cleared to Maids’ 10m line, only to have it run back in by Razza and Dayno. Dayno ran it deep into the 22. The ball was spread to Andy Mitchell who managed to pick up a difficult pass on his Maidenhead debut. After clean ruck ball Styles gave the ball to Cadz who dummy switched with Hodgson and gave it wide to Dayno, then Paz who smashed over for his second of the match.

13 minutes 20 into the game, I caught up with Steve Jones for a second time:

"Is that Paz’s second try? What’s going on??"

The con drifted wide to the right making the score 10 – 0

It wasn’t long before maids were on the offensive again. A stolen lineout from Paz gave Styles the chance to whip the ball straight to Hodge who smashed up the middle but sadly the downward pressure was deemed short.

Another crash ball to Cadz lead to Welsh holding on in the ruck and giving maids a penalty. Hodgson made the controversial yet mature decision to take the three points. Maids were up 13 – 0

Paz with yet another sound leap secured the ball from a lineout just outside the 22. A "Harlequin ball" saw Styles whip a pass to Hodgson who broke the line then popped to Dayno who was in support to run it under the posts to make it

18 – 0 to Maids.

An easier kick this time, Hodgson converted to make it 20 – 0.

After being awarded a free kick and taking it quickly, Maids gained significant ground and Welsh had a lineout outside the 22. The ball was stolen, but knocked on in the back line. A scrum won against the head saw Dayno go blind and hand the ball to Chaytes to score his second try for Maids in 3 appearances.

A missed con made the score 25 – 0 after 28 minutes.

A Welsh injury lead to a slightly earlier than scheduled half time, but it was welcome from both parties. Half time substitutes included: Ryan for Hodgson, Willy G (debut) for Chaytes, and Tucker for Smashers, Sorry if I missed anyone of this list… had to work out the subs myself L

Minutes into the second half the crowd was horrified to here news from Duncan Jones: "My nose is bleeding; it was really bad it had to go off."

Play continued however, and at this point I caught up with Hodgson, fresh from the pitch: "Urm, bit of a disappointing personal performance but we’re doing well"

Noticing Willy G was sporting the Maggie May number, I asked for Hodgson’s opinions: "I made him shake my hand. A lot of magic’s happened in that shirt."

Maids managed to get the ball deep into the Welsh half once more, and were gifted with a scrum. Styles gave the ball to Dayno who crabbed across the pitch and handed the ball to Cadz who was trying his hand at outside centre this week. Attempting a little chip the ball was knocked on by Welsh.

Andy Mitchell picked the ball up from the back of the scrum and powered over for his first ever try for Maids. "He is sic…I love having brares" Hodgson, 2004

Once again it was not long before Maids were back in the Welsh 22. Of the back of the lineout Dayno picked up the ball, gave it to Ryan who gave it to Cadz. Torvill then pirouetted over the line to make the score 35 – 0.

Dayno converted. Maids were up 37 – 0.

Immediately after this event, Olly Styles was replaced by Els at scrum half. I asked him how he was feeling after 51 minutes of rugby:

"I’m feeling good, a lot better than the last two weeks." Fascinating

A deep restart from Welsh gave Pat a chance to try out his skills on the wing. Burning one, and beasting through another it seems like Alexander has some competition. The ball was rucked back well and again Maids were on the offensive, this time in the form of the debuting and confident Willy G.

After various attacking moves, Welsh finally forced a turnover. Once again, however, inconsistent kicking gave the ball to Richard on our 10m line. Running the ball back in he cut the Welsh apart before offloading to Dayno who did the /same.

After being held up on the line it seemed that as hard as he tried, the Welsh were not going to let Dayno score again. So perhaps it was someone else’s turn. A penalty move 10m on the right hand side of Welsh’s 22 landed Plume with the ball – the last man you would want on the ball, as a defender. As described by Jo-Jo Plumer he then preceded to "mush over the line, taking a few with him."

After 53 minutes the score was now 42 – 0.

At this point, Steve added:

"We look like a rugby team. Do you know how I know that? Because we’ve got 15 blokes, all with two legs and 2 arms, wearing rugby jerseys."

From a ruck set up from the restart Dayno went blind. With Will in support it was a two on one situation. Unfortunately for Will, he was picked up and carried into touch. Welcome to Maids. After a light injury scare, it was revealed that he was fine. From the lineout Tim Johnson made another potent (yes that’s right, I have a thesaurus) run and managed to get the ball back well in the tackle. The clean ball allowed Els to hand it to an at-pace Andy Mitchell who crashed over for his second try of the game and Maids career.

To convert, much to the crowds’ dismay, Dayno opted for a drop kick. "That’s our Dayne," Added his father. At full time the score was 49 – 0. I spoke to Tom Plumer immediately after he left the pitch:

"I injured my left nut!" I also spoke to utility back Chris Adam:

"It was fun, it was fun…well you know, mite have a run at prop next week" Can’t wait.

Pat also added:

"I feel bruised…"

Steve Jones then added that this week’s team was better than last weeks, but we put them away because we played better with no flat periods.

On the way back to the changing room I also spoke to Dual try scoring legend Chris Parrot:

"I’m very happy with the win, I thought, it was a good all round contribution by every member of the team, a lot of tries scored in the forwards, but also in the backs, linking runs in the backs. Everyone contributed to a 49 -0 win, and the defence was good as well" A planned yet legendary response from my man of the match, simply for his Salmon-like leaps, constant presence, and his two tries that will forever be a fireside tale to share with grandchildren.